MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS
Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."
the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected
really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow
head might be necessary."
don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."
it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."
had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"
you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might
you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going
out sooner or later."
much do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's
their way to tell you by now."
have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."
been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
think we should just be friends."
True Meaning: "You're ugly."
learned a lot from you."
True Meaning: "Next!!!!"
on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning:
"I gotta turn on my answering machine."
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in
convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who
makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
Because they already have boyfriends.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to
put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see
when you take them around the block.
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything.
B.One - men will screw up anything.
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him
brag about it
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
How can you tell if a man is aroused?
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - did it ever happen??
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped
or extremely small.
What is a man's idea of doing housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.